My first day on the cleanse

Date:   6/23/2006 5:27:46 AM ( 18 y ago)

Started day 1 feeling a little nervous as this is my third attempt at Day 1. I made it to dinner time on previous attempts then blew it when the kids and husband came home. I have such great strength when it comes to some things, studying for exams or being organized, running a business, but when it comes to doing things for me which I know I need to do, they take a back seat. I buckle at the slightest temptation. My husband and children are away for a few days so I thought It would be a good time to start and it was. I've realized that my life is too busy. The financial rewards are there, but I don't have enough time to enjoy it. I work every weekend and most days during the week and I know that this is taking a toll on my family, yet I keep saying I'll work less and then I don't do anything about it.

I'm committed to making a change. I didn't think I had a hard time saying no, but I do. I think it's because I want people to like me, but at what cost. My time, my family, my children, my health.

I tend to be quite obsessive about things. I always have to be the best. It's like I'm not ok with just being me. I don't want to sound morbid or a bump on the log, but I'm really trying to use this time and this blog to make changes, and sometimes I feel like I've made progress and then I get caught up in life and forget some of my previous commitments. So I think it will help if I right them down and review them every so often.

I wanted to do the master cleanse for a variety of reasons. I am about 40lbs overweight, I lost 25 of them about 5 years ago but they've slowly crept back on. I'm going on a trip at the end of July and desperately and I really mean desperately want to lost 20lbs by then.

The other reason is that when you are carrying 40 extra pounds, it hurts. My legs hurt, my back aches, I'm bloated all the time and my finger joints are being to ache.

One other reason is that my mum has colitis and I have a tendency towards bowel problems.

So anyway I can't tell you how proud I am that I completed my first day. It was huge accomplishment for me. I tried to keep calm through the day and stay focused in the moment.

I did the SWF in the morning and nothing happened, so I bought the senna tea and had some at around 8.00 last night

Feeling excited and nervous


 

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