I feel like I've been riding a yo-yo today, lot's of ups and downs.

Date:   4/12/2006 9:00:52 PM ( 18 y ago)

Its been a yo-yo kind of day today. I did a liver flush last night, which went quite well. I passed two of the largest stones ever and began to feel better, although very weak. I don't know if it was related to the flush or not, but when I tried to get up this morning I found that I could not even stand up, much less walk. That is not a good way to be at anytime, its especially hard when dealing with the aftermaths of a gallbladder/liver flush. I managed to half crawl, half drag and take care of things, then spent a good part of the morning in bed. After a lot of time in the traction collar I guess whatever was affecting my legs relaxed enough that I can manage with a walker or cane now. However, the pain has been horrific today.

Diet wise I feel pretty good about myself. I've had steamed veggies and some frozen blueberries. Since that's about the only food in the house, it wasn't hard to be good today. I've got a fresh gallon of water distilled and need to put another on tonight. I can't stand the smell of tap water anymore, much less the taste.

A friend from work and church called last night, and while it was good to visit with her, once again I was pressured to forget all this "nonsense" and find a good doctor. I admit this morning I was about ready to drink a gallon of cortisone if it would allow me to walk again, but reason and patience prevailed, at least for now. My friend also told me all the groceries she had bought that day, bacon, eggs, sandwich meat, American cheese, and chips. I must admit it sounded good and that is stuff I haven't eaten in a long time. I don't know why I'm getting all these unhealthy cravings, but I can't give in to them again. Still, please don't tempt me with chocolate-I might have to hurt you.

Our dear friend Owen, I say "our" because he is a friend to all of us at Curezone, sent me a copy of the book "The Power Of Now". I have heard about this for several years but had not read it. I had trouble concentrating today because of the pain and unable to get comfortable, but from what I've read so far, its an important work. Tomorrow, I want to begin to study this in earnest and hopefully absorb the message. My doctor does not see an emotional/spiritual aspect to this condition; he likens it to "having my head cut off" meaning that the nerve signals are blocked by swelling and inflammation. However, I want to explore all aspects of physical/emotional/spiritual and seek healing at all levels. The more I read and learn true healing must occur to all aspects of our being to prevent breakdown and recurrence of dis-ease. I can't help wondering if that is why so many back surgeries fail, the mechanics are fixed, but the root cause is ignored. Every sense I have tells me surgery will not heal me, but I am unsure of how to proceed. I cannot deal with this pain and weakness much longer, I'd hoped to be up and walking by Easter.

 

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