Today was a much better day.

Date:   3/22/2006 9:52:46 PM ( 18 y ago)

Whew, made it another day! I woke up a lot again last night. I rarely had trouble sleeping before. Could it be that my body doesn't want anymore sleep??

I felt good though when I got up. Skin brushed and decided to do an enema. I had only done one, and the new bag leaked. I had gotten another one but didn't want to do it again. I finally decided to, to help clean out some toxins. I warmed up some water, put the thing together, and did it. It wasn't so bad. I need to learn to let it in slow. I didn't hold it, I got up and let it out right away. Then I showered, got dressed and felt good to start the day.

Had a pretty good day. I dress very warm every day. I didn't have to cook today, so that helped. But I come home and there's FOOD. Of course there's food, dummy. You need food to live. I'm so afraid of going back to my old habits. I haven't changed that attitude with food yet......will it change?? I'm such an emotional eater. How did I get this way? I remember my mom saying once that I was so small the doctor told them to feed me all the time to gain weight. Maybe that started it. Maybe not. I love food. And I see my younger daughter with the same traits.   Will these changes just happen, or do I have to make it happen? Will it be a constant struggle for me to chose good food over junk food for the rest of my life. Gosh, I hate the thought of that.

But, I had a real good day today. It's just that I want some of that pizza that's sitting on the counter. Or the chips that are in the cupboard. I want the turkey dinner that my mil is fixing tomorrow. I just realized that the evening time is the worst for me, when I want to eat. During the day I'm busy and have things to keep my mind off food. I'm not hungry, I just want something to eat.  

"There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going."

Midge

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