The Tigress cycle is exciting, and frustrating. Hunting vegetables is not very challenging. They move so slowly!

Date:   4/21/2005 9:48:47 AM ( 19 y ago)

So the weather is gorgeous and the water has warmed up to 59 degrees AND regardless of the rain we had day before yesterday I went IN.

After my Kundalini Yoga class with Banoo, I drove down to the primo swim spot to see what the wind conditions were. Everything looked good I hopped out of the car wrapped a towel around me and changed from yoga duds into my bathing suit right out there on the street-! I felt slightly uncomfortable but really -who cares? I'm pretty adroit with towel manuvering while removing underclothes, so there were only momentary flashes of indecent exposure.

After I set up my spot on the sand, I just warmed myself in the sun until I began to sweat-reading "THe Care and Feeding of the Soul" Thomas Moore-(GOOD STUFF)

One of my fellow yogins came down to join me. She is an energy vampire of the highest caliber. I did not look forward to speaking with her. She very rarely has a good thing to say about anyone. She is a gorgeous woman, physical beauty, french-beautiful accent- but so desparately looking to the outside to provide her with validation, that she grows tiresome with her constant gossip and faultfinding of others.

I resolve-since I am in Tigress Cycle- to tell her what I think of this constant complaining and criticism. She is unhappy and looking for a "man" to make her feel better about herself (she is 50 years old-but strikingly beautiful) Not any "man" he must be stable, wealthy, want to raise her 2 children, take her to the best restaurants, travel..yada yada. Not very realistic, but -hey-stick to your fantasy! Or drink enough so you can lower your standards!


She is not as critical today, we are both enjoying the sun together AND we have not shared any intimate time together since last May. This is an interesting shift- I am "holding the space" for her new behavior. I am relieved that I have not spoken my mind based on past behaviors. After a 1/2 hour of chatting (no silence with this one-too much fear- So beautiful and mired in fear-God is a jokester!) I go swim and leave her to her own thoughts. She has never gone in the water, even in the heat of summer. She does not like our water, only the Bahamas will do. I like the Bahamas too, but when in Rome..... So I do my 1/4 mile and it is glorious, I play like a sea mammal-dives, somersaults under water, back stroke, breast stroke, rowing exercises in the water-you name it I FROLICKED!

She was waiting to pick up our thread in conversation when I hauled out, back to the towel. It was 3pm, and she had to leave to pick up her children. I left to get ready for my final foundations class at Science of Mind. It was a pot luck and I still need to prepare my redcabbage-zucchini salad.

Once home I ran a hot bath with Epsom salts, and soaked while listening to Sahana meditation music. Then out to the kitchen to chop and toss and marinate. I arrived at Midtown on time prepared for all the goodbyes and closure of the Foundations class.

Something very interesting happened, we had a student project final and each of us did a 1/2 hour presentation on something important to us-Mine was on the Word used in Creation- there were 3 left that needed to be completed (we ran over on time last week). The three that waited until the last were the three that had the most trouble believing they are God-a foundational concept of SOM and our power on earth. They are doubters, and are in majority complainers, or blamers of others for their own circumstances.

I had lost all patience with them by the end of the 3 hour class. For the first time I realized what vampires those are, who say they want healing-out of one side of their mouth, but patently refuse to accept their power (and responsibility) in the matter of health.

I was so relieved to be out of there! Free of the blamers and whiners. I am in Tiger cycle and my empathy for the weak is pretty much non-existant, in fact, they kinda looked like something to pick off as in the process of trimming the "herd". This was not how these people or this class occurred for me at any of the other meetings (the other 12 meetings) so I have to assume I am in a major process-perhaps accepting the "killer" in me. I accept. Thank you very much internal processes, for including the "dark side" in my spiritual journey.

It is not necessary to fix it, only accept it. Lucky I swam before the class!



 

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