Why I'm not medicated.

Date:   3/15/2005 7:10:01 AM ( 19 y ago)

I did some test on the internet recently, just cause I enjoy it. I did a good few for depession. They all came back saying I was either moderately or sevearly depressed. Not very surprising.
I bet you're wondering why I don't just take the medication that's been offered to me.
The truth is I don't want to. I don't want to change the person I am. If I'm not happy so be it. This world isn't a happy place. Everyone isn't the same. And I don't want to be just like eveybody else. I realised when I was fourteen that I was better than that. So the world is just going to have to accept me the way I am. I'm not a smilly faceless bimbo. Darkness is no less real than light.
I understand that this is a chemical imbalance in my brain.
But that's not all it is.
Ignoring reality and pretending the world is a bright childish fantasy will not make things better.
And pickeling my mind with drugs won't "cure" me.
I am the disease and I don't want to be cured because then I'll be dead. A smilling pointless doll will be living in my body.

 

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