WHAT IS ORIGINAL PAIN WORK?






From an article entitled



http://www.creativegrowth.com/backlash.htm

The Recovery Movement Comes of Age:
Dealing with the Backlash to Recovery
by Jason Saffer, M.A., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist



ORIGINAL PAIN WORK
IS A WAY TO FIND OUT
WHT HAPPENED TO US
AS CHILDREN

in responding to David Rieff's piece in Harper's, explains that recovery is a process that, in part, involves "original pain work" -- a way of finding out what happened to us as children.

"This may involve anger at our parents,
which must be worked through,
but the ultimate goal is
understanding,
forgiveness,
and reconciliation,
and not exoneration from the consequences
of our acts or the bashing of our parents."

Bradshaw points out that Rieff and the media
in general focus only on this phase of recovery work and this leads to the erroneous conclusion that people in recovery wish to exonerate themselves at the expense of their parents. But Bradshaw points out that original pain work is only one phase of growth:


PHASES
OF ORIGINAL PAIN WORK

Other equally important phases involve
behavior change (ie: stopping the compulsive behavior),
uncovery work (embracing childhood memories,
getting reconnected with the emotions
and expressing them in a safe place),

cognitive work (choosing values,
setting boundaries, etc.),
and, finally, spiritual work through meditation
and service (learning to value one's own inner life
and tapping into the still quiet place inside).

THE GOALS
OF ORIGINAL PAIN WORK

These phases of recovery work
result in more of a completion of the process
of the development of a full and healthy ego.

The development of a full and healthy ego
is a crucial part of living healthfully
in the world and is a necessary aspect of one's spiritual life:
As John Bradshaw writes in Homecoming: "
Your ego must be integrated and functional
if you are to survive and cope with the exigencies
of everyday temporal life.

A strong integrated ego
gives you a sense of confidence and control.
Reclaiming and championing your wounded inner child
allows you to heal and integrate your ego.

Once integrated, your ego then becomes
the source of strength that allows you to explore
your wonder child: your essential self.

Paradoxical as it may seem, y
our ego needs to be strong enough to let go
of its limited defensiveness and control (italics mine).
You need a strong ego to transcend ego...
The relationship between your wonder child (soul)
and your wounded child (ego) must be healed
before you can connect with your essential self.
Once you've done your ego work (your original pain work
or legitimate suffering), you're ready for full self-actualization."
(page 257).

This is a major method of recovery work, in my view:
to work through the pain of the past --
by feeling it and letting it be there --
so that, in time, a more healthy person can emerge. F

or me, the goal of recovery work is to free ourselves
from the hurt feelings and limitations
that seem to have been imposed on us
and that we might be imposing on others.
The goal of recovery work is to free up the energy locked
in those hurt feelings and conflicts so that we can understand
life more fully and thus live more lovingly.

The work involved in going through this process
is often, if not always, hard, painful, and often debilitating.

It is necessary work.

The healing comes through the feeling --
there isn't a shortcut.

When we feel and learn to accept
all the parts of ourselves,
especially those parts of us that we have split off and cut off,
Nature itself creates the healing integration.

We know that Nature is doing its work by the results
we experience: a stronger sense of our selfhood,
an increased desire and capacity to live according to self-initiated values,
an expanded ability to love and to serve --
not with the hope or expectation of reward
but because such an urge arises spontaneously.
Rest assured: as we continue on this path,
these attributes emerge naturally.


http://www.creativegrowth.com/backlash.htm






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July 19, 2011






 

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