mmmm just going thru the motions

Date:   4/15/2009 1:36:14 PM ( 15 y ago)

Weight is 142, so like the last fast i lost 12 pd in 17 days. i have 12 more to go to goal weight, im not sure if i will go past 30 - i will just see how i feel at the time. definately making the 30 days. last two days have been mc and water only - again just havent felt like juice and to be honest i really wanted the weight to move so i guess i have been avoiding juice to make that happen. i have found that i have lost my thirst all together. i have to force myself to drink, i know i am not getting enough fluids. which is probably the reason i feel so lethargic and sleepy. i ran last night and felt good while i was running but it took every part of me to make myself get on the treadmill. but i did it. today i feel like i could crawl into bed all day. i am also cold so i am getting to the cleaning part. i still have a disgusting white tongue every morning and an awful taste in my mouth. i am not hungry or craving food but last nite i made a casserole for my kids and i did want to eat it for a bit...but again i declined. i think fasting is easier for me now that i have done so many. it still suprises me that each one my body and mind react diferently but it is easier in that i know i can go without food and be fine. this fast my mood has being very low..i wouldnt call it depressed just really low. i am usually an overly happy outgoing person and i love to laugh. but i dont feel like laughing at all lately. i kind of feel numb. i am really happy that i am losing weight and exercsing and getting healthy and i love that i dont feel bloated or that awful feelign of eating too much of the wrong food. but i am not what i would call happy - i am just so so. maybe it has to do with the lack of energy. i really am missing natural beauty too. living in houston has its issues mostly being all the concrete. i am homesick. this doesnt help. but i will get thru it.

 

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