so glad to be fasting!

Date:   4/2/2009 12:22:07 PM ( 15 y ago)

i reluctantly woke up today hitting the snooze button twice, i couldve slept all day. but i feel good. my weight is 149 so down 5 pound only 15 more to go. i had moments of wanting to eat last night but not so bad. all i do is think ok do i want to eat because im hungry and if the answer is yes i just have a juice, a lemonade or water. but more often than not it is just mind games. and they are easy for me on this fast because i know the benefits of fasting far out way missing food. i dont like what i see in the mirror when i look at my fat body. but i do like me. and the difference is now that i am doing somehting about the fat i just look and see what is going to be gone in a month. i got dressed today and put on some pants that really dont fit they are so tight but i dont have any other options. i am not going to buy a bigger size. these are not my smallest pants in my cupboard either they are ones that when i am at a comfortable weight they fit nicely. when i am really small they are too big. anyway what i was thinking today is that maybe next week when i put this same outfit on it wont be so tight. so that will be progress. i cant wait till next thursday to get dressed in the same thing and for it to fit better! then a week later wear it again and maybe even being loose! i could get really depressed about the fact i let myself get up to 155pd but instead i just want to concerntrate on fixing it. i just dont feel like me at this weight. i dont feel healthy i am self conscious and most of all i am not fit. i have been to the gym every night this week so far. 20 mins of bike 20 mins of elyptical and 40 mins of strength. alternating one day legs and one day arms. i think i am nearly ready to try and run but just want to lose a few more pounds so there is not extra weight on my knee. i may try next week or i may wait until another 5-10 pounds is gone. feels soo good to be exercising. jsut feel so positive about the future and cant wait to see that toned sleek body again!
Pysically feeling no real effects from detox as yet. Still dont need to take oxypowder. i have a white tongue. my eyes already look better still a bit of yellow in them but the red has gone. skin feels softer and my hair feels better. i have a few muscle aches but i am sure that is from the weights and not detox. i expected for things to be worse due to how bad i have been behaving since thanksgiving. maybe it will hit me in the next few days. i dont want to comit to a time frame yet but i feel a long fast is due! and i am up for it!

 

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