You have to find that "feeling place." :-)

Date:   2/1/2008 2:11:06 AM ( 16 y ago)

I must say that I feel better now. Today was interesting.. I was on my way to class this morning and my check engine light came on and the car started sputtering. .. I was pissed because I just got a tune-up 3 weeks ago. I pulled into a parking lot and said a prayer and waited… then I journeyed on to class. The class was informative so I debated if I should go home or keep my stomach cleansing appointment. Once I started to drive on the highway, I couldn’t accelerate past 50 miles an hour, everyone was looking at me like I was crazy! I begrudgingly canceled my appointment but I figured my safety is pretty high on my priority list so I drove straight to the mechanic.

They came back with some bullsh!# that I need a new fuel injection pump which cost $250. I felt the need to eat strongly… like a Big Mac or something… (since I am aware of my detrimental habits now) I just got stern with myself and said “You are not 12 anymore. You can no longer EAT yourself out of a situation!” Once I re-affirmed my commitment to complete this fast (and to changing my habit) ... the hunger went away! I’m serious… it was like me testing my own faith about my commitment to me! That is that damn ACCOUNTABILITY rearing its ugly but necessary head! I wouldn’t allow myself to become sad… and feeling good is always my goal… so I spank the monkeyd then went to sleep! An orgasm can make any problem seem infinitesimal! (We are adults here.. can I say that?)) I mean after all… you pretty much know all about me...my hopes, my fears, my worries... now you know what keeps me happy! (wink wink :-) (If you haven’t got it by now... I love to make people laugh!) My best friends tells me that I will say anything….well I guess it is true! Life is too short to live a lie!

I did my 3 miles on the treadmill, I am very happy about that. I posted the word ACCOUNTABILITY on my wall (along with other wonderful affirmations) and felt good about getting it done! Exercise is not my favorite thing and I can only hope to like it more and more! I did an enema today and a lil’ stuff came out and I realized it is TRUE… I AM full of Sh!#....but knowing this keeps me on track because I want to cleanse and detox as much as I can during this process… I am now Mrs. Clean!

I am at work about to start working, (ok…I’m lying but I intend to look busy as I sip some water) . I drank mostly water these last couple of days and it has kept me full. I have to take tons of water with me or the feeling of hunger kicks in… it keep me going to the bathroom.. but it keeps me going!

Oh yes… I almost forgot… its funny while your eating blizzards and cakes that you don’t realize how much weight you gain. I didn’t know how fat I got! I have always been fabulous… but I let my cuteness get out of control! I buckled my belt on the last whole today! That felt great because last month I didn’t need a damn belt!!! LOL. I am happy about the excitement I have to be healthy. I am excited about the changes that are taking place in my life. I am so grateful and so thankful. I am getting what I have been praying for.

Hope I made you laugh and gave you a little inspiration too!

See you soon!


 

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