quick update...

Date:   1/27/2008 11:38:35 AM ( 16 y ago)

First: Day 5 was mentally exhausting. Exhausting. I gathered steam by the end of the day but wow.


Today has been fine so far. I went and bought the Yogi tea Get Regular, as I just couldn't stomach the salt water another day. Much more pleased. I'm already planning my soup! Huzzah!

I plan on following a primarily macrobiotic diet when I'm done this cleanse, so I got some yummy miso, and I'm going to pick up some fresh veggies and sea veggies when I'm done. So looking forward to it. It's not that I'm hungry, really. Most stuff I smell I think, "wow, that smells great...mmm...." but then I think about eating it and feel "meh, I don't really WANT it"
It's an interesting feeling.

But miso soup with veggies and some beans...mmmmmm.....

The Husband had wine last night, and although I really would have liked a glass I didn't really fancy it as much as I expected to. I mean, I know this isn't forever, and I can have a glass later...i think that's the key to the mental part of this. It's not forever. Everything changes, and so will this. It's about a certain patience, an personal, fundamental acceptance of transition, if you allow yourself to gracefully flow through this process (as life) the difficult moments become much easier to bear, it creates a certain compassion for self that I have been lacking. Allowing myself to be emotional or tired or hungry or whathaveyou allows the cravings and feelings to be experienced, and to pass, with goodwill and kindness. I'm not fighting these things in myself, or outside of myself, and I think that is why I am not struggling the way some do or will.

It's also interesting how this fast has allowed me to make a clear distinction (or link) between my emotion, my feelings, and physical sensations. I can see that when I'm angry or experiencing anxiety I feel much more compelled to eat than I do when I'm relaxed and at ease. It's helped me differentiate between the physicality of my experience and the emotionality of it, which I think many of us have trouble doing. I am not one who has ever learned how to properly 'digest' my internal emotional world, so to speak, and I this fast has definitely shed some light on that, and shown me, in the process that these feelings I am so afraid of, really aren't so miserable and difficult after all. They just want some attention, and acknowledgment. They're a little like children that way. :)

Well, I'm going to go drink some lemonade and get ready to head out and buy a few thingies for the house.

ciao
kiki


 

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