I use food to deal with my emotions, good and bad!

I am a recovered alcoholic/addict and I am involved in a 12 step program which has had a tremendous effect on my life.

I have worked on many many issues and I know that it is time to get a handle on my health and diet.

I have abused my body for many years and yes, I know, having quit hard drugs, alcohol and cigarettes is a tremendous undertaking and I am proud of myself for pulling out of that world of destructive numbness.

So here I am 29 months clean and sober and I find that I pollute my body with sugar, coffee, fried and processed when I go through emotional turmoil.

Once I start it is really hard to stop. When I eat like that I completely change. I begin to isolate, get chronic fatigue, my body hurts all over, I get rashes, my eye sight worsens and I get fat!

This is no way to live! I am going to change!

Just after I began the cleanse my cat got really sick and I had to make the decision to set him free to go home to the Creator.

Henry was my great friend, seven years ago I picked him(he picked me) out of a lot of kittens at the SPCA in Victoria BC, he was the runt of the litter, pure black and full of character.

He grew to be 20 pounds of the best cat I have ever known. I miss him but know he has gone home and I am happy for him.

Because I am an emotional eater and I knew that had I not been cleansing I would probably deal with my emotions by eating sugar and junk. I realized I had an opportunity to watch myself go through an emotional process differently.

I was good at dealing with my feelings, I could identify them, feel the emotions and talk to my support people about how I was feeling and let them go.

What I realized by being on this cleanse was that ya I did the above things but when I got home that's when the eating would start, that's where the feelings would stop! I was still cutting them off thinking I had dealt with them. I shortened the process, therefore stopping it before it was finished.

So this time because I couldn't eat I wrote. I wrote in my journal, I created a garden and I spent time with my granddaughter. Things I love to do. This sounds so simple but I guess I had to go through something like this to actually realize what I was doing and what I could do different.

I am so grateful for this chance to see things differently. I am on a journey of self discovery, my goal is balance, vitality and to give myself the gift of health so I can live the second part of my life differently than I lived the first part.

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