still not feeling good by athina Blog entry

Blog: * in pursuit of perfection *
by athina

still not feeling good

Just want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.

Date: 11/15/2006 5:54:55 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2151 times

Well my progress so far is hardly anything to rave about. I drank the Senna tea last night, and have been feeling nausea ever since. Slept ok, but woke up with a bit of a headache this morning.

Haven't even bothered making the lemonade yet. Don't feel like drinking lemonade, don't even feel like drinking water. Just want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. I wish I had a TV so I could watch some talkshows but besides not having a TV, I don't have cable, and don't live in a country where talk shows like the ones back home exist.

Sometimes I just want to numb my head a bit. I tend to take life a bit too seriously at times, and nothing clears my head like a nice ol' fashioned episode of Maury Povich featuring Paternity Tests, Cheating Spouses or my personal fave: "Man or Woman?". One of the best kinds of mind candy.

Of course, the serious parts of me analyses the social implications of such topics, and how they came about. For example, what constitutes a "Man" or "Woman". On the show, they typically would show an adrogynous sort of character and the audience would vote. This would have me thinking about what characteristics society considers to be 'male' or 'female'. Long hair, makeup, skirts = 'female'. Large build, facial hair, deep voice = 'male'. Some characteristics obviously fall in the middle, but I think by and large we tend to stereotype what constitues a 'man' or 'woman'. Many women like to wear 'mens' clothes, and more than a few men I've known like wearing eyeliner (Ok, I was raised in the Toronto area, considered by many to be one of the gay capitals of the world).

But at the heart of it, what I think really constitutes a man is his ability to provide for the family. What consitutes a woman is her ability to provide children and, more importantly, the ability to raise them into compassionate, intelligent adults. It's sad, at least in the case of women, that this attribute is seriously undervalued by society in lieu of more 'favourable' characteristics, like large breasts, pouty lips and a tight butt.

Pretty depressing. But for all you women out there, you can at least count on one person (i.e. me) applauding you for all the hard work you're putting into raising your kids. You are truly the backbone of the nation, having the strength to continue a job that never ends.

So when you look at that billboard featuring an underwear-clad 15 year old girl masquerading as a 'woman', keep in mind that all the respect and admiration for that model are miniscule when compared to the love your children give you everyday. That love endures over time while the 'love' for the model lasts until she's booted out of the business at 21. So don't let that propaganda get you down, and start seeing these media campaigns for what they really are: deperate attempts to lower your self-esteem into buying the products advertised. Nice try, advertisers, but this chick sees right through all that.

And while the media also aggressively attacks men, I'll have to leave that for another blog. Just don't forget boys that I'm rooting for you too.

Anyways, enough of that. Back to my one-day fast. I'm thinking that the way I'm feeling is my body signalling to me that I need to take it easy for a few days. If I still feel this way by nightfall I'll probably continue the fast again tomorrow. I'm open to suggestions, with many thanks.