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Day 6 of 120 report - fasting on urine
The best is yet to come - isn't it?
Date: 2/25/2006 8:17:14 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2330 times Greetings, fast followers. Much to report. I feel very regretful to you in that I must say that as of the morning of day 6 on only urine and water, absolutely no results of any magnitude, even tiny ones, show themselves. So, please, if anyone tells you that 5 days of urine fasting (and day 0 was a juice fast day) will have groovesome consequences, don't go into it thinking so. I am talking about nothing - physical/physiological, cosmetic, mental, spiritual, whatever. If you need to drop 3 or 4 pounds without appreciable hunger, that might work.
So my two big worries are that this won't do merdre (Jarry word for what I'm no longer evacuating from the colon), and the safety issue. Part of the worry on both scores is that perhaps I should be doing an alkaizing fast - tormented by the thought that that would work and this won't, that it'd be working even by now. On the up side, however, about safety (although I hope my mail-order phone arrives soon!), this is what I was thinking early this morning as I lay in bed with some mild but marked pains in my abdomen - HOW on earth could this be MORE DANGEROUS than people eating the poison they eat every day? HOW could it be more "lethal" than the grain, salt, heated oil, raw vegan alcohol, white flour that I often end up eating on days I'm not fasting, and that always makes me violently ill? HOW in jaysus could this be more fatal than the billions of people who eat pastries, candy, dairy, drugs, fried dead animal with chemicals, and soda every day - even all in the same day? I just feel it _can't_ be. I don't mean to be ignorant, or faith-over-science, or blind, but it just doesn't make logical, rational sense, does it? Saying that doing what I'm doing will dangerously upset my internal balance (of electrolytes, or whatever), be too toxic too fast, drinking waste - more so than the average American diet? It seems patently absurd, does it not?
And on the faith side, I also strongly feel: HOW can it be wrong to do what I'm doing now with the purest intention, the deepest well-meant longing, the poignantest yearning for my life to know life and health and even some small happiness or at least less hell - how could my body turn against me for that, when it kept me alive through the stretches of abuse I put on it? I just can't believe yet that it will kill me for trying to do something healing for it.
After posting yeterday, I had yet to do a urine massage and conceived the idea of heating up my aged urine before rubbing it into my skin - vvvvv. Then I conceived the unbrilliant idea of pouring it into tu and running some extra water in to make a bath - I wouldn't have thought this worthwhile, but you keep reading how Armstrong recommends bathing in your urine. Me, I don't recommend doing that. First, I felt it to be completely ineffective, and one did not get the same sense of rubbing it into one's skin. More importantly, I'd been feeling quite fine for days but when I arose out of the bath (which wasn't mega-hot or anything, nor had I been in it long), I suddenly felt extremely pass-out-y and it struck me with the little brain I had that I hadn't felt this way before the bath. Might have been heat, might have been arising too suddenly (although, as I remember, I didn't arise too fast), might have been a combination of this and the fact that I'd been thinking I felt thirsty and would much welcome some water when I got out - in any event, I'm not going to risk more hot baths during this fast, especially without a phone and for the non-juice portion of it. I barely made it to the bathroom floor to put my head between my legs (in Folded Leaf asana). I felt I was done for. There was no help I could get to. I felt that my only hope would be somehow to get to the kichen area and make some green juice and drink it thus forcibly ending my urine fast (experiment). Even so sick, I regretted this. In any case, I realized (I've accessed this lovely survival mode out swimming and almost drowning) that the only way I was going to get through this was to keep calm, affirmative, confident, infinitely gentle and comforting and assuring. And competent. Luckily there was some distilled water I could reach if I mustered all my strength to sit up and reach and drink. I managed a sip - rested again - and then drank more and rested again, all the while talking myself through it. By this time, I realized that deep down I was feeling better - had in a way internalized my "you'll-be-fine" talk. I basically stumbled to the other room and the bed - in time dressing - in time getting a big glass of water. I had in my mind even when it was really bad that drinking water would be the key to feeling better. I was glad it happened afterwards - I may have many such episodes of one kind or another, and it's very valuable to know for a fact that they are in fact minor and do pass - what you hope is true but are not sure you can believe when it's at its worst. To know that you can come through it, get yourself through it. Afterwards I felt that great feeling you feel on the other end of something like vomiting or something that feels deathly ill - and I felt very proud of myself. And of course relieved - that I was fine and that in panic I hadn't thrown away everything! What a mistake that would have been!
That was around 6 - towards later evening I began to feel quite fragile again, not well. I had a few more seconds-long symptoms, the sore leg bit and a second of back pain. Some seconds of neck pain. I played in the background a film I quite like called _Shattered Glass_, its flaws irritating me more and more but it's comforting like an album you know backwards or a pair of pants you've slept in for days, whilst rereading at a distance of perhaps 13 years _Study in Scarlet_. I had not felt like reading and had despaired of hitting on something I could deal with - I was still feeling rather fragile and unwell and in no mood for the William James I'd earmarked to read the day before, that's for certain. The Holmes was surprisingly delightful - yes, I'm stuck in middle-brow all right, but it was as pleasant as it was diverting - my thrift edition didn't come wih the original Strand illustratiions, unfortunately - but still one kept smiling broadly, even laughing. The novels tend to start excellently and lose a little going on, and this is no exception, and the mysteries are always kind of boring, but the prose is easy and respectable, just what the faster needs. One feels in touch with the rather hallowed course of Western modern pop culture, without feeling as if you are eroding what's left of your brain with cotton candy, pop rocks, and corporate cartel conglomerate capitalist corruption. Not a bad feeling. I was feeling better, and turned off the light at 10 - later than I've been able to manage so far on this fast. I knew I'd be up early drinking my 2-7 am urine! Gee. Pleasantly drowned out the incessant cars with some Soft Machine (if you're looking into the ouevre, don't necessarily be put off by the dreadful Britwhimsy titles), and set the slow-pulse-from-fasting heart racing with a concert bootleg of Tono-Bungay (I know nothing quite as spiriting and will make copies on request). As I lay there tired but trying to sleep and unable to, I reflected that this was my first night of being "wide awake" as one gets on a water fast - in all, not counting being up for urinating and then sitting drinking it, I got less than 8 hours but feel fine from it - this is much less than usual non-fasting, and less than it's been urine fasting (it's been about 10). I started to have pains in the side of my abdomen that is the heart side - I don't know, is there an organ there? Then somewhat in the middle of my abdomen an inch or two above the navel. These were troubling a bit but I reflected that they were my first real signs of any cleansing going on!!! I massaged the area with my hands and presently fell asleep. A rather troubled sleep with at least one unpleasant dream, but sleep nonetheless. On waking at 6, I felt the pains again, but they pased within minutes so now I feel okay. I did not wake with the usual (fast so far/ non-fast) sense of oppression and pain, simply an awareness that I am doing okay on the fast as of day 6 and am determined to do this, keep going.
Well, you may have heard my unorthodox "teachng" that the 2-7 am urine is the potentissimo stuff - I was chagrined I hadn't started it from the start - and realized that I'd have to do it. I HATE getting up when I'm sleeping, even to urinate, or warm bottles for kittens to feed them (although there's a plus side to that!), and here I am proposing to do that every night? Ach good angels be my guard and zwoons - ?! However, you see, I really want this fast to work, and am willing to do what it takes to increase or encourage its length, doability, and effectiveness - and overall unproblematicity, dog knows - so I let myself stop intaking urine at 8 and when I awoke at 3.30 having to go, I sat in bed and drank the whole 8 oz. Took more time than I liked. It was strong - stronger than it's been, definitely a taste that was almost daunting. I next woke up at 6 and expelled another 4 oz., drank that (same thing - strong, almost daunting, and fully expected to go back to sleep. I was up, though, I suppose, for I just lay in bed an hour, got up and here I am. My 7 am urine was not high in volume but was also noticeably strong. I don't know if the qualities of that 2-7 a.m. urine are particular to night urine - interesting - if so, one can almost see why it would be touted as more powerful - it certainly tastes more "powerful" than the urine I'd been drinking from other hours - or if, in fact, I've just entered a day here where my urine is more concentrated. A little time might tell the truth of it. It certainly doesn't make it an easy task to sit there drinking a cup of urine at 3.30 a.m. if it's always to be such a comparative wallop - an "experience". Experiences on this fast are welcome, but I'd rather not have them when 3/4 asleep and cold over the blankets.
Presently I'm seeing the aspect of reality that thinks that that line about "Everything that happens in a fast is communicating to you about the things you are fasting for", is a load of utter crap - nothing seems to be commnicating to _me_ about what I'm fasting for. But it may work for you - may be true for you.
On to Day 6. I hope this works. I literally will die if it does not. I hope it does. Courage, mes braves.
A physical/mental "health professional" is a "person who takes money from another under the pretense that it is for the other's own good". Jack
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