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Day 3
My celebrity food dream last night....
Date: 2/15/2006 7:41:52 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2526 times LAST NIGHT
First off - last night I went for a walk and strolled for about 2 miles. It felt so good to get out, and walking this far while fasting is a first for me. To be honest, I started to get a little tired after 1.5 miles, but I pushed myself a little bit further. In hindsight, I think it's better to follow your instincts and not push it.
MY DREAM
Here goes... I dreamt that I was in the kitchen with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Maddox and a family member of mine. We were making dinner, meatballs. As we were prepping, Maddox says something to Brad and calls him daddy. Brad yells back, "I am not your father!"; then I rebuke Brad for his attitude and he apologizes to Maddox. Next, we're preparing the meatballs -adding different types of spices, mixing it and rolling them into balls. Then instantly (like a swap out on cooking shows) the meatballs are ready and we're all sitting at the table. Instead of getting out the plates we start "sampling" the meatballs, and ooohing and aaaahing about the spices and how good the meatballs taste. Well we "sampled" until there were only about 6 or 7 meatballs left and then we got into a heated debate about whether we should just finish off the meatballs, and then make some rice/mashed potatoes and vegetables; or reserve the meatballs to be eaten as a complete meal with the side items. That's when I woke up.
At first I thought this dream was so ridiculous. I haven't been thinking about brad and angelina, or even maddox (lol). So at first, I brushed it off as a silly dream, but now I see a deeper significance. In addition to doing a water fast, I had it in my heart to also fast from all television, movies and media, but due to the pressure I was feeling yesterday to quit I felt I had to do something to escape. So, I opted to watch a movie instead of eating. This kept me on my fast, but I now see that God was reproving me for being involved in worldly-carnal things (t.v. and movies), along with me manifesting food lust.
The spiritual and mental pressure feels so great that yesterday afternoon I made a decision to watch a little tv/movies for the first 2 weeks until I get strong enough to deal with the pressure, but I now see that that isn't what I should be doing. I guess I'll have cancel netflix (and I just signed up for it on yesterday)...
(ETA - Today I've managed to watch 2 movies, and I can only forsee this getting worse. I'm just going to have to grow up and learn to deal with pressure without escaping.)
CONTINUING MY FAST
I mentioned in my first post that I was primarily doing this fast for religious reasons and spiritual growth, and before I began I felt it was important for me to do 3 things: water fasting (I assume the entire 50 days), no tv/movies/media, and pray for a few hours a day M-F and several hours on Sat/Sun. I know this might seem "heavy", but I've been a Christian for a long time and should be a lot more advanced than I am now, and God has shown me that I need to do this to get the spiritual growth and answers to prayer that I've been seeking. So, I am seriously considering discontinuing my fast and starting again on the weekend with a more focused mind to do the fast properly and more wholeheartedly. I'm a little disappointed toying with this thought, but I'm not afraid of failure and I'm willing to persevere until I get it right.
I'll keep you posted. And if I do decide to start again, I will continue to post in this blog.
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