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Truth of Self, prt. 3
Clarified "Dead Sea" source, and additional hip inflamation
Date: 2/21/2005 5:12:39 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2491 times In part 2 I made brief mention to a verse from one of the Dead Sea Scrolls and now can clarify that as coming from the: Gospel of Thomas. See http://kuriakon00.tripod.com/tom.html and find the translation by Paterson Brown at # 70.) "Yeshua says: When you bring forth that which is within you, this that you have shall save you. If you do not have that within you, this which you do not have within you will kill you." And now having read this verse anew after having read a different translation some years ago I see this in a whole new light and it speaks to me even more pertinently now then what I vaguely had in my memory.
As much I would like to continue on the subject of my inflamed intestinal condition I'm now contending with an inflamed hip as of the past few days. The absolute worst pain I have ever experienced in my entire adult life! Kept me awake two nights ago all night and most of last night and I'm up now after trying to go to sleep this past hour or so. It is another situation where I'm fairly confident that the cause is mental/emotional. During the first night of constant excruciating pain I began raging, cursing and finally cursing my mother and father. First time I ever did that in my entire (and I believe that in a certain sense it was long over due). I had asked my mother for a small but very needed loan about a week ago and didn't get a reply for about three days and then sent her another message asking whether or not she received my request. She then replied, declined my request but went on telling me how many thousands were spent for her home improvements plus another car. Then she stated several negative criticisms about my lifestyle and waste of talents. My first reaction was to completely terminate all contact including telling her to remove me from her will. However, I had no peace about that for a couple hours. Later I realized I simply didn't want to continue corresponding with her by e-mail anymore and so I sent her a very brief message stating that. I then blocked her address in my location. I realize now that I never mentioned how upset I felt about everything I've mentioned above. And I believe it was after this that my hip flared up!
According to Louise Hays the hip has to do with moving forward in one's life and I believe the pain relates to not having something to move forward towards. When I read this last night it really spoke to me. ... To make a longer story short now (because the pain is returning in the hip) I'm searching for a new "career" that will not only better meet my basic needs but also be fulfilling to me in terms of my life purpose, however it's in the arena of "life purpose" that I feel I'm somewhat in the dark. But this hip is telling me I've got to move forward and I have begun to affirm that! "I am moving forward with joy to fulfil my destiny!"
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