Date:   8/28/2006 10:41:37 PM ( 18 y ago)
Popularity:   message viewed 2508 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/c/fm.asp?i=998630

I am not sure when you posted this page on anger management, but it was divine timing for me. I'm ending Day 3 on the master cleanse. I began it for spiritual reasons;I'm certain that the chaos in my life reflected in areas such as 50 extra pounds, a messy home, disorganized days and general unhappiness will be released from me as I attain spiritual footing again.
It is very interesting that the first 'mental' release for me was anger. The subject came to me like a whisper at first. I was feeling fine, but I was noticable impatient with my children and my husband. I even had an emotional breakdown and cried when my husband wouldn't answer his phone when I called it. That bout of rage was a quick-moving storm, thank God. I can 'storm' for hours. That night I wanted to listen to an 80's (song) hits CD because there are songs on it that make me feel light and youthful--and have for over 20 years now. I turned down the lights and put my headphones on and turned up the volume to a song that I normally have wonderful meditations to. I envisioned myself thin, long-haired and radiant (like I was when I was strong spiritually 1996-1999) walking across a field of grass approaching friends and family. Suddenly (in this visual), someone throws a ball at me and I'm being laughed at. I don't react openly;inwardly, however, I consider how I'm going to retaliate, then I do so by spiking a volleyball at the back of this guys head. Next, I dream that I'm athletically trim and wearing all black. I'm at a restaurant with my husband's family. A couple of dudes walk in to commit armed robbery. One guy approaches me and and gropes my (private area) and says that he'll take me for his 'needs' because I was beautiful. This was at gunpoint; no one could protect me. I realize (in this dream) that I'm a black-belt in martial arts and, in my skinny black outfit, I destroy both men. The groper I angrily slap him in the face and bash his nose and kick his groin repeatedly. This dream made me awake in angry tears...all this while listening to songs that usually make me feel so good! I realized at that moment that God was trying to make me aware that anger would be my first and probaly most difficult release. There will be no joy while I am still so angry and retaliative about the bad things that have happened to me, especially as a child. Today, I inadvertently encountered this page on anger that you posted here at cure zone. I certainly don't believe that this is a coincidence.

Thank you so very much for being a person that has allowed him/herself to be an open channel to encourage others. YOu must have worked incredibly hard to attain your spiritual status. You are wise because you know what support is truly needed during this fast. I feel fortunate that our Higher Power has allowed my senses to be opened to true healing because so many people are oblivious. I understand that there is a higher calling on my life. I have lived 35 years steeped in anger and I can feel the life (hope) ebbing away inside. I called out to be freed because I have envisioned my future and had hope; I just didn't know how I'd get there. I think that maybe now I'm truly on my way. I need to be steadfast enough to make it.

In humble gratitude,
butterfly223
 

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