YOU ARE kind and inspiring and as wise as the best of us who are also searching for answers to ways to improve our lives on all levels. Certainly there are days when I am not positive too and if you read my blog entries for the days like you are going through, if you read between the lines, you will find that those were my low days and I finally had to just admit that my body was healing itself and the energy I would have preferred to have just was not coming. When I finally relinquished those goals and allowed my body to rest, it was so healing and de-stressing. I did much better this cleanse than my first long one which was more like what you are going through, with lots of chilling and emotional stuff. I know from my own experience that hairfall can really be distressing so just know, what Somer told me, it will grow back. Your whole body is detoxing and now that I know about your heavy metal history, I can also venture that it may also have been a factor in my own hair problem. They test the hair for heavy metal you know...
The emotional stuff will come up and as with the other detox debris...better out than in. Your depression may especially be helped with the cleanse and especially the post-fast liver flushing. I do not do well with pharmeceuticals but did use St. John's Wort which has been used for forever in Europe to treat depression. I only had to use it for about 3 months and then my personality returned and I no longer needed it but I can sure recommend it since it took a few weeks to build up in my body but sure made a huge difference in my level of overwhelm....
http://www.herbalhealer.com/stress.html
Your daughters sound wonderful and especially supportive. I have a daughter and was only able to have one child so perhaps that contributed to my finding joy in her company. I kept waiting for the terrible twos or anything but she never did act out or turn on me or her Dad. My divorce was a low point in our relationship but even that, under a full moon, one year, holding her in my arms, we healed in a shower of tears and mutual surges of love for each other. I totally wish that kind of relationship with your girls for you. If you expect the best, often our children will work hard to give it to us. Enjoy them...ggg....
Your day 17 sounds much better too and all your hard work is going to pay off, has been paying off and except for your notes from the road, you will not even remember the lows as much as the highs and counting the blessings on your fingers and toes!
I can recommend shifting back and forth in the day between drinking your morning SWF and the lax tea. It helped me shift to another level for some reason? It turns the spigot some on the detox flow too which is not necessarily a bad thing. You will continue to detox even when you break and most of us keep doing other cleanses along the way so its not like you arent getting a good payback for your time and energy since already you are riding high on the cayenne in a way even I did not enjoy since Detour did not decide to amp up his levels and share how that went until I was deep into my own cleanse. The amount in the book is adequate too so its all good anyway...you have done a fabulous job also in researching and sharing with others. All this signifies success in a major way and you are winning daily...even the lows are winning days if you do not allow it to make you feel like quitting!
I wish you the best on your journey and certainly the next visit to your colon hydrotherapists, they too will sing your accolades!
Keep up the good work!
blessings,
Zoe
-_-