Date:   9/17/2005 9:51:54 AM ( 19 y ago)
Popularity:   message viewed 768 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/c/fm.asp?i=990804

Ok. I am here. Slept well, enjoying a few minutes before I swallow my swf and become a slave to the commode.

So, yesterday was rough. Not because of cleansing, although I am positive that may have coloured my response to all of it. The wine job. On Thursday, the man with whom I've been interviewing for this wine job (let's call him Mr. X) said he had spoken with his boss about finalising me coming on board and that I should call his boss (Mr. Z) on Friday and discuss the job, what I bring to it and what sort of compensation I would expect. Sounds good. I do my homework and figure out all of the above in specifics and yesterday I call Mr. Z and tell him that Mr. X suggested that I call. He says "Well, wasn't that nice of him." Wow, I am taken aback and then ask him if perhaps I have called at a bad time when he interrupts me and tells me he doesn't know what to say. Wow again. Tells me he will call me back later (which he never did) and I decide to call Mr. X to thank him for interviewing me but that I am moving on in my job search. Leave a message on Mr. X's voice mail (he had asked me to call him after my phone call with Z) and (unreal) Mr. X never calls back either.
This is on the heels of me jumping through hoops (sending transcripts, providing names of restaurants in which I could potentially place their wines). Not to mention serious interviewing or the fact that I have known Mr. X professionally for a long time. I am usually resilient, usually the sort of woman who can bounce back quickly, but this has shattered me at so many levels. When did rudeness become de rigeur for business? Why does this whole experience resonate so deeply for me. And how lucky am I to find out now how this company deals with people instead of 3 months down the road? It just hurt more because my feelings are closer to the surface when I cleanse.

So, here I am in a transitory state, limbo, standing in the threshold about to move forward. BUT!!! It is tiresome and I am ready for whatever is next. And I do mean next. This on the heels of my physical ego wondering why Mr. Handsome at the gym has no idea I exist. It would be so easy to be self indulgent and allow myself to moon over all of this, but I won't. I am not even going to entertain thoughts over why this has affected me at such a visceral level. I am simply going to move on. Voila, c'est fini.

I am struggling with how long to do the cleanse. Today is day 6 and I love how I feel in a lot of ways. My tongue is pink, skin is clear and (finally) I am experiencing a hyper intense sense of smell. My tummy is flat, thin, compact, no pudge and my bum is a wee bit smaller as well. I am cool with not eating, moderately cool with drinking lemonade, and am sleeping like a baby. I do miss chewing (arrgghh) and have contemplated making lemonade ice cubes, but it seems like more bother than it's worth. I will obviously go 10 days, but am clueless about how much longer I will go. Plus, I was reading the Yogi "Get Regular" tea packet and there is a warning not to exceed 6 - 10 days on it. I am leaning toward 11 or 12 days, probably 12. I would like to really ease out of this cleanse and do the soup for a few more days than called for.

Ok, off to swf land. Bleegh
 

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