Thanks Zoe!

So I had my very first colonic today, had a terrific discussion with the technician about all these things, you know, whether all this stuff is "self-centered" in a way.

She said that all I'm doing is learning the right way to live, and that while I'm learning I'm going to be a little preoccupied with the learning process, and nothing more! I was stunned by the way she put it...

Putting it that way made me think back to when I first started school, and how much I lived and breathed it, getting my feet wet and then into the depths of this new subject, it was really my focus. Now that I've got the down time to learn these other things, like raw food, master cleansing, etc. I'm just doing what is natural whenever we are learning and growing and changing...and I liked that perspective, it makes sense. It rang true, it was sort of the answer I was searching for because I knew that I wasn't just an eccentric self-centered freak, and certainly not OCD.

I know someone who is OCD, very dear to me and God love her she believes if she doesn't spin around 3 times in the shower that harm will come to her children. And she's otherwise very successful and well-balanced in her life. So--so what I say, we all have our "things" and yet we manage to live our lives the best we can and to enrich each others' lives, flaws and all. Maybe someday she won't have to spin around, maybe not, I love her anyways. I guess that's the real thing about the woman at work. She and I have had a few heart to heart talks and gotten to know one another I thought, and, in that context, her comments did hurt. So she knows I won't let a doughnut pass my lips or eat the office birthday cake--for I fear that great harm will come to me if I do. It could send me down the path to daily sugar fixes and very poor health, depression, weight gain, fatigue...and this is not magical thinking it's the very real consequence I'd face and I know it. I've been there. For me, it would be like a drink for an alcoholic. If she cannot respect that, then no, she is not my friend. I accept for myself that moderation in some things might always be an impossibility for me, because I have the potential to be very addicted to these things if I have them. I could not be so vigilant, but then I might lose my hard-won state of health and most importantly, peace of mind. It did not come naturally, it was a long hard battle for me! 15 years ago I was on the brink and didn't want to live anymore and felt like my body was in agreement with that, and today, I have joy. If I have to be OCD to maintain this, then so be it! :)

Well, sorry to go on and on...but yeah, I really loved the colonic, what a release after all this detox. She was actually a little scared (should have seen her face..."well, the water is going in" and "check to make sure that it's going in the right place" haha!) for a minute when I kept saying I wasn't um feeling the urge, until I told her I'd been colon cleansing for years and then she was like, Ohhhh! LOL. She had been saying that after a few of these I would get a huge black rubbery thing until I told her I had that huge black rubbery thing after about 30 days on P & B about 2 years ago. Then she got really interested in hearing about all this, and she said that she had just started, and that she was really getting an education from the clients who practice these things. I live among at least some people like me, made me feel good! Hope you get the opportunity to have one, or, lets change the law in Texas!

I don't know...after law who knows, maybe I'll hang it up and pursue a career in alternative health. I know that's really where my heart is. Maybe I'll practice in that area, when there is such a thing. It's funny how only the western docs get funny and nervous about my profession and the people I'm affiliated with. We discussed that too, that the tides are turning more and more and one day alternative health will be the norm!

Well, take care!