- at the speed of light by takemeawaygod
18 y
2,715 2 Messages Shown
Blog: Anonymous young lady dives into the Abyss of God...? ? ?
| everything is improving REALLY fast. I've gone back a bit to the eating disorder. I feel ready on the one hand for life to get way better, and on the other hand, I am not used to abundance and accepting that God wants to give me an amazing life. It feels so stupid to eat compulsively. I think I'm afraid to feel beautiful and to feel like I have no vices and thus no excuse to not be the happiest person ever, which is absurd and yet what fear isn't? I've had an entirely traumatic existence. I don't like that I can't just shed all my defense mechanisms and bad habits at once. on a certain level, I think I could go ahead and stop. It's just fear that's got me doing this stuff, yet the fear Is the defense mechanism, so I'm talking in circles. In a month, I'll be able to give Johrei. I look forward to it. I want to be of service to people and God and focus on myself less.
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takemeawaygod
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- A mystery... by Willa Need Power
18 y
1,287
Hi. I have been reading your blog with much interest. I hope you keep sharing. It is helpful to others and to me.
A comment or a question...compulsive eating/binge eating is something that has had power over me for many years. I know the feeling of getting close to feeling and looking wonderful and I self sabotage. It is like a form of protection or punishment, I'm not sure.
I hope to start a blog. I too have been having alot of similar things that you describe....certainly not saying "I know how you feel". I plan on going on a 30 day juice fast to cleanse.
Keep strong and keep communicating.
Willa
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Willa Need Power
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