5-8-06

I did a 30 day juice fast from 3-12-06 to 4-11-06.

This is what I wrote on 4-19-06:

Hey All,

I'm sorry for skipping out on you like it did after my fast was finished. I have lots to say. But first, let's go over my results:

lost 25 pounds, lost 2 inches in thighs, 2 inches in hip, 2 inches in abs, and 4 inches in waist.

The swelling was totally gone in my ankles and lower legs. My hair seemed not so frizzy. My skin was so soft from the skin brushing. My headaches were about gone. I felt great! I actually felt like doing things. And I could see that I had a waist!!

But all that doesn't matter now. I've messed up, came off of it wrong and am eating like I was before. I hate myself right now, totally hate myself for going back to the way that I was. Why would I do that? I'm so hooked on food it's terrible! Nobody knows what it's like unless you're there or you've been there. I eat when I'm not hungry, I eat when I'm stuffed full, it's got to be something psychological. My naturopath does hypnosis, I'm thinking about doing hypnosis to find out why I eat like I do. I hope I can find an answer.

So, much of my progress is gone. I'm totally disgusted with myself. I really feel like throwing in the towel and just being fat with toxins throughout my body. I've been struggling with this for 28 years, why keep trying?

I'm sorry that I'm so low, and I don't want to discourage anybody. I just knew that you guys would be wondering what happened to me. I'm struggling.

Midge

So, now I'm back with a vengeance!! Vengeance: the act of taking revenge. I'm getting revenge on myself. I felt so good during my 30 day fast, why did I give in to temptation?

I had been thinking about doing another fast, but yesterday really sealed it for me. I woke up with such a terrible, painful headache that I just sat and cried. I felt terrible all day long, and still have the headache this morning. It's not as bad as yesterday, but bad enough.

I'm still down 8.2 pounds from the last fast. I lost my measuring tape, so I can't measure. I'll pick one up today at Family Dollar if they have any. So I'm at 195.8 pounds.  

I am so determined right now! I want to end these headaches! I'm going to do it right this time! I'm not setting a number of days to stop, I'll stop when my body is ready. I will come off it right. And my eating habits are changing from RIGHT NOW! No more over eating, no more junk food, no more processed junk, and very little meat! If I have to live like that for the rest of my life to not have headaches, then so be it!!

I will be starting off with a water fast, I don't know for how many days. I think I'll do something like water for a few days and then juice for a couple of days, and do that for the entire fast.

Gotta get to work! Talk to ya later.

Midge