- Still hanging on... by #25671
19 y
3,276 4 Messages Shown
Blog: Cleaning Up My Act
Still uneasy. Feel indecisive. I know what I must do, but am stil foolishly holding out hope that I can be satisfied the way it is. I'm too weak to make a clean break and stay sane. All I can do is keep my eyes open, detach in my mind first before making an announcement.
IN: Friday ate nigiri sushi again for lunch. Then broke down for some sidewalk pancakes (minus syrup) before going home to make stir-fry bok choy for dinner. Went to the pub for 2 vodka sodas and 3 cigarettes. Later ate a local snack from a street vendor (a gelatinous rice fried and breaded with onions).
Yesterday, Saturday--oily veggies, tofu, fish and white rice. Followed by Korean dinner with pork, lamb, lettuce, seaweed, spicy cabbage, breaded egg cakes.
OUT: Nothing since Friday!!!
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- Hang in there! by UserX
19 y
1,366
Hey, you haven't posted in 10 days, so hopefully you're not completely gone from the boards. I just read all of your blogs & want to let you know that I totally sympathize with you. Maybe you should wait a couple of days & then try to fast again? Maybe try a shorter, but stricter fast. Today, I'm just starting my plan of 2 days only raw fruit, & then a 3-5 day water & juice fast. I know how depressing it is to be in the end of a painful relationship. It's hard. You know you're happier & better off without him, but it's so hard to think about being alone, especially if he rebounds quickly.
This may be bad advice, but here's what's worked for me: date as many people as you can, as quickly as you can. Sure, you're vulnerable & on the rebound, but if you keep that in mind, remember that you're using these dates to get over Jones, then you may not be as vulnerable as you think. Rebound relationships are the best ones. You don't have to invest a lot, but you have someone to spend time with and comfort you while you get over the guy. They've always been good for me. As long as you don't hurt your rebound guy, everyone's happy. Usually they don't last a long time anyway. Just long enough for you to become happy with being single again.
Maybe that sounds dysfunctional, but I got out of a 3 year long, mutually emotionally abusive relationship that hurt worse than anything has ever hurt before. I felt like I'd been run over & was screaming for help on the side of the road, but no one could help. It was a feeling of being helplessly wounded, with no relief in sight. But in situations like that, it's true that no one else can help you.
I spent quite a bit of time "playing the field." I lost about 20 pounds, got a job working at a car dealership, where any woman is the center of attention & gets all kinds of preferential treatment, and my self-esteem went through the roof. It's amazing what having 2 or 3 guys calling you in one night for a date will do for your self-image.
Now I have been in a healthy 2-year long relationship with a guy who respects me, and with whom I believe I'll spend the rest of my life. I've gained about 40 pounds, but my self-esteem is still fairly high, because I know that I'm worthy of respect, & that I'm a beautiful, intelligent & unique woman no matter what happens. Sorry for all the cheesiness of this. I just sympathized with you & wanted to offer a little of my own experience in the hope that it might be of some comfort. Good luck to you. Keep up with the good health too! I'm sure you know what a difference it makes in your emotional health.
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- Re: Hang in there! by WorkingVaca
19 y
1,517
| Thank you lynda! I agree with you out rebounding. Unfortunately I can't seem to shake Jones...I know he doesn't love me enough, but he won't dump me, and I can't bring myself to never see him again. There's another guy I date, but I always end up comparing. Perhaps I need more, as you said, 2 or 3 guys. Thank you again for your support. Honestly, reading your advice has made me feel better, just knowing I'm not alone, and that we are all resilient.
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WorkingVaca
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CureZone